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EUROVISION SONG CONTEST

Eurovision

It is hard to know where to begin to describe this surreal event. The Eurovision Song Contest is treated very seriously in most countries. But in the UK it's an event that has become so bad and discredited that it has actually become popular again. Radio 2 presenter Terry Wogan led the way with his gentle digs at the presenters and artistes taking part each year. Slowly Norway's 'nil points', block voting and ridiculous acts (yes, a bald-headed woman on stilts really did appear for France in 2004) ensured Eurovision was to become an institution. Today, families download scoresheets off the web, get the bottle of Baileys out and laugh the night away. Here's a quick guide to Eurovison:

Norway: Always gets nil points
Scorecards: Downloadable from various websites and ensures all the family can take part.
Baileys: Terry Wogan's favourite tipple. You're not allowed to start drinking until the seventh song.
Block voting: Various countries vote for each other in a spirit of friendly corruption. Similarly, some countries will never vote for others.
Fancy dress: Whether you are with the family at home or in a village hall, dress up in your favourite European costume. Not too many Abba-lookalikes please!
Flags and bunting: By the bucketful. It's impossible to have too much tack.